What is a mancation you ask? I am on a mancation, a vacation from Men :-). I am exploring my running, biking and swimming.
I have set aside this year for myself and I am enjoying every minute. I have re-engaged myself in a Triathlon club I have been in for 3 years. This is the first year I even picked up my shirt (yes, it was that bad). I have met some amazing women who I can aspire to keep stride with; although I full recognize that this will most likely never happen. I am having fun sweating and swimming and setting new goals, new milestones and new adventures. I ran 10 miles!!! I am signed up for a 1/2 Marathon - who knew I would catch the "running bug". It is true, I feel awful if I don't do at least one physical activity a day, preferable two (I think I need counseling).
I am planning a solo vacation for this summer, although I am having a very difficult time deciding where to go. Beach vs. Europe? No kids vacation by myself, it will be another first for me. This is a year of firsts, in my 40th year I should have made 40 goals and would like to lose 40 lbs.
I am making sure to be involved and ever present with my girls and make sure they know they are my first priority. I want them to see me love being active, love exploring, love adventures and love them. I want them to understand how important it is to do these things and always be learning and to never give up. Set goals and reach them and if you fall short at least you tried your hardest. They are amazing and they bring me so much and I am hoping that I give them something back. They grow so fast and I don't want to miss it, I want to be here for it, I want them to spread their wings and I want them to know that it is okay to fall because they will get up and try again and I will be there to help.
In my 40th year, my Mancation, my self discovery, my athletic ability (slow as it may be), my quest to be the best Mom I can be, to go places I have never been, do things I have never done and share all of it with my daughters. Together we have firsts every year and those are the times we will always cherish.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
It's Been Almost a Year
It's been almost a year since I met Sasquatch (my nickname for my Ex Fiance). I have seen him twice and once he saw me too. I cried, I got angry, I tried to understand and I hoped that one day he gets what he deserves. I wanted Karma, but then I realized that maybe his Karma is the fact that he can't live in truth or love or happiness. What a horrible life that would be and even though he might not realize it is horrible, it isn't a life anyone in their right mind would choose. I live my life with love, honestly, trust and family I can't imagine living it any other way.
I made some incredible friends along the way and am grateful for all that experience brought me, but not grateful for the fear that is also reminded me that I had always had. Fear of failure, fear of loneliness and fear of trust. Don't get me wrong, I am at peace, I am happy in my life with my girls, but I would like to have love in my life again but a part of me is afraid to let it in.
How do you date as a single Mom? On-line? I have been on EHarmony, Match, Plenty of Fish and I would say that there is not much out there that is worth my time. Plenty of Fish is a trolling ground for one night stands, Match is a trolling ground for men looking for 22 year old pinups, and then there are the 40 some year old men who all of a sudden want to settle down and have kids after a life of Bachelorhood and oh, by the way are way younger then their actual age and would only date women in their 20's who must also rock a string bikini. E-Harmony, I swear I filled the questionnaire out wrong, because there wasn't one man that they matched me with that I was even remotely interested in. I'm 5'7" and you are telling me to date a pocket? Let's face it there has to be some physical attraction there.
What else is there? The random guy you happen to meet out who wants to "take you home"? My Grandmother told me that love isn't possible again until I'm in my 50's and I sure do hope she is wrong.
Single Mom trying to find someone to date and I'm picking this time. I've been picked; I divorced one and the last one was a Con Artist / Sociopath, this time I'm being picky. Yep, I said PICKY!! We all deserve to be a little PICKY.
I made some incredible friends along the way and am grateful for all that experience brought me, but not grateful for the fear that is also reminded me that I had always had. Fear of failure, fear of loneliness and fear of trust. Don't get me wrong, I am at peace, I am happy in my life with my girls, but I would like to have love in my life again but a part of me is afraid to let it in.
How do you date as a single Mom? On-line? I have been on EHarmony, Match, Plenty of Fish and I would say that there is not much out there that is worth my time. Plenty of Fish is a trolling ground for one night stands, Match is a trolling ground for men looking for 22 year old pinups, and then there are the 40 some year old men who all of a sudden want to settle down and have kids after a life of Bachelorhood and oh, by the way are way younger then their actual age and would only date women in their 20's who must also rock a string bikini. E-Harmony, I swear I filled the questionnaire out wrong, because there wasn't one man that they matched me with that I was even remotely interested in. I'm 5'7" and you are telling me to date a pocket? Let's face it there has to be some physical attraction there.
What else is there? The random guy you happen to meet out who wants to "take you home"? My Grandmother told me that love isn't possible again until I'm in my 50's and I sure do hope she is wrong.
Single Mom trying to find someone to date and I'm picking this time. I've been picked; I divorced one and the last one was a Con Artist / Sociopath, this time I'm being picky. Yep, I said PICKY!! We all deserve to be a little PICKY.
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