What is the definition of a Dad? of a Father? Is it a sperm donor, is it someone who actively participates in the lives of their children? I do not understand how someone doesn't want to know their children, doesn't want to be an active participant in their lives. It makes me sad for my children and sad for the circumstances. They are children, they will grow up and they are only yours for a short period of time. They soon will not ask for your help, they soon will not want tucked in and they soon will want their friends 100 x more than they want you. Life is short, live like you were dying because in some respects we all are. All I want is for you to be a Father, to be their Dad, to show them you love them and to participate in their lives. I want them to love you - you are their Dad, they need you.

Dear John -
You are an asshole. You are a cheater. You are dishonest and you can not be trusted. You have manipulated yourself into and out of more situations and finally you have gotten your due. Yes, I am glad you didn't win this battle, I was in the Battle lines fighting against you. I did not lay down my sword to help you b/c you would and have stabbed me in the back that I failed to protect from you.
You say my life is awful, but yet I have never been happier. I have found my peace - a peace I would have never have found with you; I have happily found without you. A peace that has allowed me to be free of the chains that for some reason held me to someone that did nothing but throw me under the bus. Who has broken laws - both religious and federal. Who I did things with I always said I would never do. Who willingly took all I had to offer and gave nothing in return. Who lives the biggest lie of all in the perfect house, with the perfect wife and the perfect cars. Who lives well on the outside but is the unknown devil on the inside. Who has cheated, lied and manipulated himself into exactly what he deserves. Who gambled, lost and asked the dealer to take back the cards. Who finally heard the word NO - and who doesn't know that I was part of the reason the NO was so strong, final and loud. Who put my health at risk and then blamed me for it. Who has never put anyone besides himself first. Who let me worry and cry for a sick relative I didn't even know. Who took my strength and never gave me any in return. Who spits out advice that he would never take. Who doesn't realize life is about choices, we all make them every single day. No choice is a choice. Who violated me in ways I had never imagined possible. Who has forever made me fearful. Who has taken away trust and faith. Who never once thought what it was like to be stalked / harassed / and living in fear. Who in all this never looked in the mirror and realized the person to be blamed was staring back. Who accused me of Threatening him by telling the truth.
I am not sorry, I hope you get all you deserve in life. I hope you grow old as you have grown up, I hope that you surround yourself with you. Who I believe will never understand what happiness and life is all about. This is my wish for you -
Go back to your perfect life, leave my awful life alone and know I am forever grateful that my awful life is 1000000000 times better than your perfect one will ever be.
I thought I could love you, I thought we had a future, I clouded my judgement, you preyed upon me, I believed in you, I had your back, you had a sword. You let me walk away and I always said that if you let me walk away it was b/c you never wanted me in the first place.
Congratulations - I hope and want you to have exactly what you deserve.

I will always remember this mistake and hope I will forever learn from it, and know it has made me a stronger person and know that I am HAPPY!!! I have found closure and peace and I have found love in myself again

Goodbye Old Friend - I never really knew you anyway

Jennifer